How curiosity sparks growth, how learning transforms mistakes into lessons, and why widening the gap between stimulus and response is the ultimate life skill.

My Learning Story

My learning journey didn’t really begin in school. It began after.

I struggled in school. I was great at math but struggled everywhere else. I found school hard and work easy. I hated the structure — being forced to learn things I had no interest in, being told what to do, and what to learn.

After college, I landed a great job as a programmer at one of Canada’s largest banks and thought I had “made it.” But a few years in, I remember looking around the cubicles and asking myself: Is this it? Is this all there is?

I was comfortable but restless. Safe but unchallenged.

Then someone handed me a book that changed everything: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. (November 1994 — etched in my memory as the first time a book cracked open my worldview.)

Up until then, my reading diet was programming manuals and technical guides. But Covey’s words opened a door I didn’t know existed.

One quote in particular stopped me cold:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl

My first reaction? What a load of crap.

Stuff happens, and I respond. End of story. There was no “space.”

The irony isn’t lost on me now. A quote about creating space to avoid emotional hijacking completely hijacked me.

But I couldn’t shake it. That line pointed to something deeper: that I wasn’t doomed to run on autopilot. That maybe — just maybe — I could learn to widen that space and choose differently.

I think of it now as my Matrix moment. Back then, I believed life was linear: stimulus → response. No space in between. Now, decades later, it feels like time slows down. In that pause, I can step aside, redirect, even sidestep bullets.

That moment triggered the start of my real learning journey. I was free to explore ideas. To forge my own path.

Since then, I’ve read hundreds of books — 45+ a year at my peak — spanning leadership, productivity, neuroscience, mindfulness, psychology, coaching, health, performance, business, and spirituality.

I’ve invested in training — Toastmasters, NLP, coaching, Heroic certification, and business strategy courses.

Looking back, every step has been about the same thing: learning how to widen that gap between stimulus and response.

For over three decades, my primary teachers have been mindfulness, strategy, and leadership. Each has shown me that true growth doesn’t come from theory alone — it comes from turning insight into practice, and practice into mastery.

The Principles of Learning

That Matrix moment cracked something open in me. For the first time, I realized I didn’t have to stay stuck on autopilot. I could widen the gap, choose differently, and begin designing who I wanted to become.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a set of principles show up again and again — in books, in neuroscience research, in courses, and in my own practice. These aren’t abstract ideas. They’re the patterns that have shaped every step of my growth.

1. Curiosity → Passion → Purpose

Passion doesn’t arrive like lightning. It grows out of curiosity.

For me, it started with that single book. One book led to another. Then dozens. Then hundreds. At my peak, 45+ books a year. Along the way, curiosity turned into passion — not just for learning, but for applying what I learned.

Purpose came later, when I saw the impact on others. When a coaching client had a breakthrough. When a community member shared a win. When something I wrote landed at the right time for someone else.

Curiosity sparks. Passion sustains. Purpose directs. In that order.

2. Growth Mindset

Back in school, I carried a fixed mindset: good at math, bad at everything else. That was the story I told myself.

Discovering Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset flipped that script. The brain is plastic. Skills aren’t fixed; they’re built through deliberate practice, failure, and recovery.

I experienced this firsthand through Toastmasters. My first speeches were shaky and awkward. But after 30 speeches, I was comfortable in front of a crowd. That wasn’t talent. That was learning.

3. Win or Learn

I used to fear failure. Now, I see it as fuel.

Neuroscience calls this prediction error — when the brain’s expectations don’t match reality, it has a chance to rewire. That only happens if you treat failure as feedback.

The habit I live by: every result is either a win (keep going) or a learn (adjust and try again).

When I look back — from blog posts nobody read, to business ideas that fizzled, to habits that didn’t stick — those “losses” ended up being my biggest teachers.

4. Widen the Gap

Frankl’s quote is still my north star. Between stimulus and response lies a space. That space is where learning lives.

Neuroscience tells us the prefrontal cortex (your Inner Coach Brain) can override the Habit Brain. But only if you pause long enough to notice.

Mindfulness gave me the practice of widening that gap. Habits gave me the structure to keep it alive.

Together, they turned theory into practice.

5. Ready > Fire > Aim

Perfectionism was one of my old habits. I’d wait until everything was “just right” before I acted. Which meant I wasn’t acting at all.

What I’ve learned — and tested hundreds of times since — is that growth comes through action. Start before you feel ready. Fire. Then aim. Then adjust.

Building the Habits Coach App, writing this blog, recording the Mindful Habits Podcast — none of it was perfect at the start. But each step taught me more than waiting ever could.

Neuroscience backs this too. Learning consolidates through action + feedback. Dopamine isn’t just pleasure — it’s a learning signal, telling your brain to encode and adapt.

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Taken together, these five principles form the foundation of learning:

• Curiosity opens the door.
• Mindset makes it possible.
• Win or Learn reframes failure.
• Widen the Gap creates awareness.
• Ready > Fire > Aim turns learning into momentum.

And that’s the bridge — from ideas into habits, from theory into practice.

Frameworks & Practices for Lifelong Learning

Principles give you direction. But practices give you traction.

Over the years, I’ve tested dozens of methods. Some didn’t stick. Some became lifelong anchors.

What follows are the frameworks and practices I return to again and again — the ones that keep me learning, adapting, and growing.

The 100 Questions Exercise

Set a timer for 30 minutes. Write down everything that comes to mind — questions about your life, your work, the world, your relationships, your habits. Don’t edit. Don’t judge. Just write.

When you’re done, group them together. Notice patterns. Follow the threads that light you up.

I did this early in my journey and realized that most of my questions revolved around awareness, behaviour, and why people do what they do. That curiosity eventually became Habit Theory 2.0.

Neuroscience backs this: questions activate the brain’s exploratory circuits. When you ask, “What if?” your brain starts seeking answers. That seeking is the beginning of learning.

T-Skill Development

Picture the letter T.

• The top bar is your general knowledge — breadth across different fields.
• The vertical bar is depth — one area where you go deep enough to be the “go-to person.”

My depth has been in habits and behaviour change. But the breadth — leadership, neuroscience, productivity, mindfulness, coaching — all fuel that depth.

Research shows this blend (sometimes called “specialized generalist”) is what drives innovation. It’s the intersection of breadth and depth that sparks breakthroughs.

The GAMES Model

This is my daily learning loop. It’s wired into me now — sometimes running multiple times a day.

• G — Goal: What do I want here?
• A — Awareness: What’s actually happening? My state? My blind spots? The system around me?
• M — Mindshift: What perspective shift is required?
• E — Experiment: Ready > Fire > Aim. Guess. Test. Try. Take a step.
• S — Story: How will I frame this? Failure? Or learning?

This mirrors how neuroplasticity works: intention, action, and reflection cycle together to rewire the brain.

Comfort Zone Expansion

Growth happens at the edge of your comfort zone — not too easy, not too hard.

Imagine three circles:

• Comfort Zone (familiar, safe).
• Growth Zone (challenging, stretching).
• Panic Zone (overwhelming, no learning).

The trick is to keep stretching without breaking. In habit terms: one small nudge past your edge at a time.

Enjoy the Plateau

Learning is not linear. It’s spikes of growth, followed by long plateaus where nothing seems to change.

At first, those plateaus frustrated me. Now I see them as consolidation. The brain is wiring beneath the surface, preparing for the next leap.

George Leonard’s Mastery calls this “enjoying the plateau.” It’s a reminder that learning is less about fireworks and more about persistence.

Social Learning: Why We Grow Faster Together

One of the biggest insights I’ve had on this journey is that learning doesn’t just happen in isolation. It happens in community.

Sure, I’ve read hundreds of books alone. Sat in meditation alone. Written in journals alone. But the times I’ve grown the fastest? They’ve always been when I was surrounded by people on a similar path.

Neuroscience calls this social contagion — we rise or fall to the level of the people around us.

Psychologists call it mirroring — our nervous systems sync with those in our environment.

Either way, the research is clear: we don’t just learn from each other, we learn through each other.

My Passion Projects

When I look back, my biggest leaps didn’t come from books alone — they came from passion projects and training rooms where I was stretched, supported, and forced to practice in real time.

In Toastmasters, I delivered 30 speeches. My first was a disaster. But by the 30th, I was confident and clear. Toastmasters taught me that communication isn’t talent, it’s a skill built through repetition, feedback, and persistence.

In NLP Trainer training rooms (Neuro-Linguistic Programming — a system for understanding communication and behaviour), I practiced noticing patterns in language, state, and belief. NLP taught me the power of state awareness and gave me tools to consciously shift it.

In coaching programs — from Adler to Heroic — I learned that real growth happens in relationship. Adler gave me frameworks for listening and questioning. Heroic taught me the importance of embodiment: living the principles, not just teaching them.

And in business trainings like PLF, The Membership Experience, StoryBrand, and the Ask Method, I learned to experiment. To launch before I felt ready. To fire, then aim. Some ideas worked, others flopped, but every attempt gave me data. These trainings reminded me that adaptability is one of the most valuable skills a learner can have.

Each of these was a passion project. A deep dive into practice. A place to test theories in real time, to stretch my comfort zone, and to adapt quickly.

They all taught me the same lesson in different ways: learning doesn’t happen by consuming information. It happens by doing, failing, reflecting, and trying again.

That’s why I built the Everyday Heroes Community.

It’s not about streaks or shallow motivation. It’s about building habits together — noticing when we drift, nudging back into alignment, and encouraging each other to keep going.

Each month we focus on a single theme. October is Learning. We’ll explore the principles and practices I’ve outlined here, but more importantly, we’ll share them. We’ll put them into practice together.

Because when you share your curiosity, your experiments, and your reflections with others, something powerful happens: your learning accelerates.

Your Invitation

This month, you’re invited to:

1. Join the Everyday Heroes Community. Be around people who are also choosing growth.
2. Track your learning habits in the Habits Coach App. Start small: Win or Learn, Widen the Gap, Enjoy the Plateau.
3. Take the 7-Day Learning Challenge. Seven days of curiosity, reflection, and growth habits to help you put these ideas into practice.

👉 Step into the Everyday Heroes Community and start your Learning Challenge here.

Because the truth is simple: learning alone is progress. But learning together is transformation.